Have you ever met someone who is super into Astrology? The whole thing just feels a little silly. The idea really doesn’t hold up to much scrutiny. The only surefire way to know what your temperament is would be to wear the illustrious Sorting Hat and let it reveal your fate aloud.
We know many of you are saying, “that’s all well and good, but the Sorting Hat is kept under lock and key at Hogwarts, this information does me no good.” But now you can own a Harry Potter talking sorting hat yourself with this glorious piece of Harry Potter merchandise, officially-licensed and all.
Unlike other nerdy collectibles that come with too many stock phrases, the Sorting Hat will only say the words that matter: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and, if you’re destined to plummet deeper into Hell than Dante, Slytherin. In a matter of seconds, your truth will be made public to all those within earshot.
Just remember that all magic runs on batteries. That is canon in the Harry Potter universe, right? In the case of the Sorting Hat, it’s going to take 3 AA batteries. The first set of batteries even comes with the hat, so there is no need to pillage the living room remotes just yet. The manufacturer also wants you to know that you will need to switch the Sorting Hat to “On” before using it. Most units will ship set to demo mode. Only then will the Sorting Hat be ready to get to work.
Discover your true self or, if you get Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, just keep pressing the button until you’re deemed worthy of Gryffindor or Slytherin. We know the two former choices are a bit underwhelming, though they do have their merits. Self-fulfilling prophecies never looked so good.
Check out more ridiculously cool Harry Potter stuff here.